I hate...

I hate when my friend calls me and complains about her ex bf. Seriously the dude is 21 and immature. Ridiculous. They broke up cause he cheated on her or was on the verge of cheating on her. He is a controlling little obsessive bastard. Yet, she calls me and is all like blah blah he is pissed cause I want to go hang out with my friend. He actually had the nerve to tell her what bars she can go to..WTF. Then she tells me they are working on it and she slept with him. Why would you want to date someone who A) Is constantly talking to other girls behind your back and B) He tells you where you can go or you better text me...holy hell

oopsy

So sometime last night I went to the bathroom and i thought I was going back into my room but no i went into bfs office where i proceeded to fall and knock over his paper shredder. I dont remember any of this though : S

Lovely love love

Sorry I been MIA for a while. Been spending time with bf. I love how little moments in life can make you fall in love with somebody all over again. Like the other day bf and I were helping his mom at school and I was just watching him interact with the little kids and helping them. He is going to be such an amazing dad. I was like God he is amazing or when I walk in his room and see all his soccer and wrestling stuff from high school. Fall in love all over again.
It's just amazing how you can just look at them and be like your mine. I can wait til I'm his forever :)

Being a hermit

Sorry havent posted in a while, nothing important has been going on in my life. Going home to Wisconsin hopefully tomorrow if weather permits. We want to go to our college town for happy hour on friday to celebrate chuck's birthday. Other than that it's the same ole same ole. Dont have a job yet, but hopefully that will come within in the next two weeks so I can be working when boyfriend is working his job.

I look like I'm 12

I feel like I need someone to teach me how to dress cute. Boyfriend and I go out and we run into girls he went to high school with who are around my age. They dress so cute in their sweaters and high heel boots. Then there is me standing there with a hooded sweatshirt that I've worn since freshmen year of high school looking like I'm 12.

Twins Fest is in four days, I'M SO FREAKIN EXCITED :)

It's thursday

The week is almost over and I don't give a shit anymore. I'm not going to worry and get myself down. That is my new positive attitude. Boyfriend got a full time job which means closer to moving out and closer to me getting a baseball themed wedding lol.

The new show on MTV disturbs me. What freakin highschoolers act like that. None that I know of. Weird.

Struggle with staying posititve

All my life I have struggled to get things wanted and it sucks. I feel like things are so much easier for my peers and siblings. It's been like this since I was little. I struggle to pass math, my drivers test, and now I struggle with getting a job. My sister already dislikes her new job so she is looking another and boyfriend has had like four jobs since we been up here.
It's so hard to be a positive person when you been put down so many times. It doesn't help that I have my parents and boyfriend's parents being disappointed in me.

The only thing I have is my writing and boyfriend. He is only one that tries to make me believe that everything will be okay.

Support Group

I talked to my friend Sara last night for the first time in like two months. She is pretty much in the same boat I am. She moved in with her boyfriend at his parent's house. Just like me she wants to her bf and her to get their own place. So we are starting a support group called NOOP- Need Our Own Place.

I got the house to myself today and it is quite nice.

I'm frustrated. Still no job. FML!

Some people change

The weekend finally came. I was so excited to hang out with bestie and chuck. Friday night they hung out with bestie's friends from her sorority, then didn't show up to my place the next day til like 5 p.m. Then they brought along their R.A. from college who was sooo annoying. The girl did not shut up and then she told her friends from the sorority to meet up with us later. Um I thought it was you guys coming down to see me weekend. Ya Friday was bestie's bday, but this was Saturday so it was my time with them. It was frustrating and annoying. So while annoying RA girl kept talking me, bf, and his bestie sat there chugging beers.

We finally got to a bar and the three girls were complaining about prices and stupid shit. I sat at the opposite end chugging down my beers. Then we went to Fridays for Rock N Roll bingo, I drank some more beer. We went back to bf's house. I went upstairs to bed over the whole lame night while the rest went to the hot tub til 4 in the morning.

Frustrating.

I learned that people let you down and you must move on. Also I have a lot more fun hanging out with bf and bf's bestie than with a group of girls.

Seriously

Boyfriend gets a interview today, seriously, I'm frustrated. He wasn't even going to tell me about the interview because he is all like you get depressed and shit. Well I am depressed because I moved up here for you and I'm freakin stuck with your parents all day. UGH I can't get a stupid job and you get like 20.

Why doesn't anybody want me? I don't get it!

I love books

There are three things I love the most besides God, family, boyfriend, and friends.

1) Sports
2) Books
3) Reality TV

Found my new favorite place. Half-Price books. Like seriously where has this been all my life. Instead of dropping 10 bucks a book, I can get all my favs for under 5 dollars. YES!

I love books! Especially ones about sports or romance. I enjoy reading the cheesey teenage romances.

Got two books today. First one is about a high school who couldn't make the boys' soccer team so she joined the football team. The other is about a girl who takes steroids to be stronger in basketball.

Teen Mom Season 2 started last night. I know i shouldn't love that show, but I do. It's so dramatic and insane. I think I like it because I went to a small high school and nothing super dramatic happened. It's their fault they got prego and the guys in their life are such assholes. Except Corey, the daddy of the twins. The baby momma dumped him cause she was still in love with the ex and she is trying to get Corey back.

My bestie comes in two days, I'm soooooo excited!!!

Bed unmade

Went to school yesterday and hung out with the children. I'm so thankful I grew up in a small town and that my parents put me through Catholic school, where there were only 12 kids in my class from first to eighth grade. Yeah it sucked having to be friends with the children you were stuck with, but the teacher could give you attention if you were struggling. Boyfriend's mom teaches 30 little nine year olds, half of which don't get their homework and are behind in reading. It made me sad.

When I was in school you had an 8 hour schedule. You did reading, phonics, math, science, social studies, spelling, and then art/gym/music/computer. At this school they spend the morning writing in journals and working on reading. Then they go to recess and work on reading some more. Then they eat lunch work on math then go to the computer lab/gym or music. I feel like they weren't being taught anything really. It was sad and scary to think what it's going to be like when we have kids.

Boyfriend and I went out last night. Applebees has 5 dollar burgers and pitchers of beer.
We watched the Auburn vs Oregon game. Cam Newton Gross.

Then the beer starts flowing and we start talking about how I forgot to make the bed that morning before I left. I grew up never making my bed and he grew up going to his friends house to be later called by his dad to come home and make his bed. In college I'd make the bed before he came over sometimes, but it was my bed and i didn't really care if it was made or not. So he is all like well you have to start making the bed because it's not just your bed anymore.

So i woke up this morning and made the bed.

Blah

Dream Job hates me :( No calls, no emails. Nothing. I feel so blah lately, like I cant make anybody happy and it sucks. I think living with bf's parents is getting to me. I just miss having my own place with my ow rules.
I did not even enjoy living at my parents house because it was boring and you had to drive like 20 minutes to do anything, but at least they left me alone. God I hope we get jobs soon and get out of here. That is all I want.

The photo

I was cleaning yesterday and went through some old pictures from sophomore year of college. I came across a picture of guy that I went through an emotional roller coaster with. He was that guy that would hang out with me and kiss me then leave and go God knows where. I was never his gf, he didnt want the titles, but yet I would of done anything to be it. Every time somebody would ask if we were dating he'd say no and my heart would sink. He'd say I was his girl though.

Yet every night I'd text him to come over if he wanted to, I never wanted to make him come over. There would always be a knock at the door and him standing in the doorway. We never went on dates. Never acted like we had a thing in front of anybody, but our roommates. They knew we were spending time together every night.

He then decided he was going to transfer to a school in Iowa and I was going to another school in Wisconsin. The last morning with him was hard. That summer he lived in Vegas with his uncle, he texted me and called a few times. I still believed that he cared about me.

Then school started and I was still in contact with him. I had no clue what he did in Vegas or what he did in Iowa. Then my friend told me the last week of school last year he took another girl on a date. I was torn and he completely denied it. I believed him. He then showed up the night before I went home for Christmas break. All the feelings came back and I thought we'd have a chance.

I eventually started dating other guys, but nobody compared to him and I'd it after weeks. He'd call and I'd get a little hope we'd get together. Didn't happen, but I couldn't be happy with anybody else.

Until one newspaper meeting junior year when this cute tan boy in a Twins baseball cap sat next to me and changed my life completely :)

Pixie Sticks and Queso Dip

My poor bf lol. The shows I make that guy watch. Last night we watched Toddlers and Tiaras and the one mom was like i got to give my kid pixie sticks so she doesn't fall asleep and will go on the stage. Then the other mom is like i refuse to give my kid pageant crack aka pixie sticks lol. It's one of those shows you don't want to watch because the parents are freaking crazy, but you can't look away.

Then we watched I Use to Be Fat. The girl on this episode was home schooled and was going to go off to college. She lost 90 pounds in 89 days that is insane. She went to lunch with her friend and her friend like ordered tacos and queso dip. Why would you order shit that your friend who is trying to lose weight and eat in front of her. That is a mean friend. I was would be pissed if i had to sit there with my chicken quesidilla without cheese while you get to stick nachos in awesome queso dip.

I did a bunch of squats when watching it because I just felt gross. I'm not huge but I'm not a size 4 either. We have to got to three weddings in June and I wanna be the size I was senior year of high school. It doesn't help when bf's dad is a workout nut and teases me about working out. Ugh it is frustrating.

Bestie comes in 8 days!!!!!!!!!!! So excited!!!!!!

Oh shenanigans

So bestie was going on dates with this Iowa dude, that should been a clear sign that he was going to suck at life, but I didn't warn her because I just wanted her to have a Taylor Swift love story. They went on a few dates and then he started saying he wasn't feeling well. Then he drops the I'm not over my ex. Stupid boy.

We will have to have a huge heart to heart when she gets her butt up here next weekend.

I need some positive thinking going on. I need to be happy.

I'm watching the show "I use to be fat" it kind of annoys me, so they are losing all this weight before college and it's like your going to send them to college, where they are going to probably party and eat whatever the hell they want and gain it all back.

I need to start working out when the snow disappears..for sure. I got like three weddings to go to in June and live by actual water (Lakes) now and want to look cute in the summer.

I'm sorry you dont want me

Ugh...so sick of rejections. I know rejection is God's way of pointing me in the right direction, but really does it have to be this bad and make me feel this worthless. I dont know. Dream job place has not called yet, I can imagine what they are thinking. A girl sports reporter who hasn't written about hockey and is from Wisconsin. We can't possibly hire her, we will hire men. I think tomorrow I will give them a little ring a ling, and be like did you get my resume, I really really really want this job. Seriously.

My friends are coming up next weekend for my bestie's birthday. I'm excited to see her, not so much anybody she could be possibly dragging along. I know it's her birthday and I should just be like nice to these girls, but they were in a sorority together and not ones I want to be around. Plus they are all going to be talking about their jobs and how I can't get one. I think it'd be super fun if it was me, bf, mybestie, and bf's bestie hanging out. I never get what I want. I know I am complaining a lot today.

That is what rejections does to me, makes me super sad and bitter.

Can I get 2010 back?

I dont know about everybody else, 2011 has been quite rather sucky. It didn't help that after numerous beers, shots of champagne, and tequila I would end up hanging off the side of bf's parents guest bed throwing my vomit at a garbage can. UGH so frustrated with myself, I seriously have not thrown up from alcohol for four years...

Then the Badgers had to lose the Rose Bowl :(. It was a close good game, but still I don't understand why we didn't play Clay more and if only we would of made that field goal. JJ Watt was bawling in his post game interview :(. That is why I love sports so much because of the emotion and the heart of players like JJ.

Then the badgers basketball team had to lose to freakin Illinois last night, lame. Should not shoot a million three pointers if you keep missing them.

So anyways I applied for this sports reporting job that is an hour away from here. I want it bad and the reasons why-

1) SPORTS WRITING....like full on high school sports writing...DREAM JOB
2) Population 9,000 people...my size of a town
3) Far away that we'd have to move out of bf's parent's house.
4) It'll make me an hour closer to my family!
5) The town is freakin gorgeous like surrounded by two lakes

I REALLY REALLLY WANT IT, dear god let them give me an interview and make 2011 so much better, let me start my life already so I'm not a freakin depressed bum anymore!!